so it's been like .... months, i dunno how long since i've even looked at my live journal, oh that's right, probably cuz there is no point in it except to vent, and lately i've found new ways.
I BROKE UP WITH HIM. that's right, i got the guts to do it. i felt so trapped, like i couldn't get out if i wanted too, and i couldn't. i was trapped, i didn't just feel that way. and now that i think about it, i'm not completely out. i'm so used to being with him and i have no friends so i go back to him. and he won't let me go. i dont' want to hurt him. i guess i gotta keep trying, but i dont' think any other guy would want me.... oh i don't know, maybe i just dont' know how to be alone...but i am now, so i better get used to it! despite what this sounds like, i am glad it's over.
i got an ipod. its so nice. all my music in the palm of my hand.
yeah, i was supposed to hang out with gretchen tonight but she called me around 6 30 and told me that she promised to hang out with david, so she'd call me after. she finally called around 9 30ish, hum, i know how important i am in anyones life. freakin sweet. whatever i didn't answer. i'm not going to hang out with someone who doesn't give a shit (oh that's right, no one) aw well, i feel fat hanging out with her and kayla, and all those other fuckin little girls anyways. ugh.
on a good note, i pitched good today, pitched a shut out against the number one team in the east (billings west) and and we won the game earlier that day too. i hate my coach though, he is such an ass sometimes. maybe next year i'll play tennis, because as sad as this sounds (because it usually comes off to people that softball is my life) i'm not having fun. i'm not having fun with anything. nothing is important to me anymore. no friends, no love, grades slipping, sports sucking, not skinny, what is there....notta.
FUCK OFF ALL YOU SHALLOW BITHCHES WHO THINK THEY'RE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU'RE THE SAME AS THE PEOPLE YOU HATE. DON'T BE THE ENEMY OF WHO YOU USED TO BE. HYPOCRITS (spelled that wrong)